Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
You were trust falling into bushes
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
