Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Its about making memories worth repressing
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
