Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
