Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
