just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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