Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
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