we have pet lesbian snakes
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
