I got chris browned last night
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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