Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
