this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize