Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
