It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
