the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
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