I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
