tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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