what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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