my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
