Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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