Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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