when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Randomize
