Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
