Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
