Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
