Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
