i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
