i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize