So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
