a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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