moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Randomize
