sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Everyone says I win the strip club
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
