Where is the hickey?
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
