we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
