My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
