I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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