Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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