She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
