Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
