STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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