I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
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