I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize