...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
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