I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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