You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize