Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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