i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize