sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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