Sacagawea was the original milf.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
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