i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
