Soap is not a condiment
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
