her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
