That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
