I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
