i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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