i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
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