OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
