He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize