Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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