guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
